The biggest factor of divorced parents is when they became parents, they did not understand how to balance parenthood with marital life. Yes, this could be a challenge for many.
The most important dynamic is not only the health and welfare of the child, but also the healthy relationship of the parents of the child or children involved. If your relationship is in pain – whether married or not – and there are children involved, that pained relationship will eventually affect the baby. The ache in this is that the baby or babies grow up quickly and often our children are forced to create habits they witnessed growing up.
The following are ways to ensure balance among parents in the home:
- Have your own life and lifestyle, remembering that although working as a couple, each person were individuals first! Many times couples forget this very important self-factor. Each should thrive in individuality, yet working together to be dual beings in a one-relationship matter.
- Have a schedule for your mate, meaning, many times we set play dates for our children and forget to schedule “play time and play dates” with one another as a couple. It is vital to work through schedules to make time and scheduling each other into busy lifestyles to simply have fun.
- Maintain connection is vital because without connection, there is very little to work with. Connection keeps the relationship in a creative, synergic stance. There are steps to arriving as well as maintaining a connective balance within any relationship. If you are having challenges with your companion in this area, consider reaching out to a relationship mentor/coach that could assist (please refer to the bottom of this writing for more information).
- Resume love activity to begin to pick up the pieces again. Revisit your love life daily, which is your service to one another, and rekindle connection that would make you want to schedule yourself into each other’s lifestyles as one.
- Stay balanced by implementing the first four items mentioned here. Renew your relationship moment-by-moment. This is your reasonable service to one another.
If you have challenges or find it difficult following the above-mentioned steps, it is time to call in help.
Parents of Newborns:
Many told us how to have the baby and how get to a doctor, however there is little to no training on the effect of newborns to relationships.
T. Charles Brantley, Ph.D is a Christian counselor, relationship expert, and author of 22 nationally published books. For more information, follow Dr. Brantley at Facebook.com/Strong.Marriages and visit DrTCBrantley.com.