There are words and phrases men should never tell women. Words that start with “B”and “C” are just to start. Women can say with teasing gestures to each other all day, but men should not dare mention such. This is known. If a man says such words to his woman, he may end up in the doghouse.
As a man will never fully understand a woman, women will never fully understand men. Speaking to his weakness and not to his strengths is not the way to go. As women want men to speak to the queens inside of them, men also want women to speak to the kings inside of them.
For too long, women have turned grown men into little boys and speak to them accordingly, but responsible men are not boys, they are men! Please be aware grown women that having sex with a minor boy is a crime, so do not treat your grown men like a minor boy child. Women should not want to bring up the pain from a man’s childhood past to mess up his manhood mission. When women intentionally make men feel beneath his manhood, she has committed the most foul play called emasculation.
There is emasculating going on in many relationships. One way to emasculate men during any conversation is when women tell men to “MAN UP.” These degrading words are not affirming for a man and have the potential to destroy his emotions and empathy toward his woman.
Women, I do agree that many times there are lazy men who are not working and performing in their correct mind frame, but there are other ways to motivate men. Telling men to “MAN UP” either privately or openly will not encourage him to do better. And embarrassing men in front of other men is never a way to go.
If men are lacking in certain areas, learn to use positive reinforcement. Many women have the nurturing gene in them. When women open themselves to nurture men (not baby men), the individual man will open up. Women use their nurturing skills very well on their children but not often enough on their husbands and boyfriends. Vinegar won’t work; it’s honey and characteristics of love that will make a man stand up for his family.
My sisters, here are a few points to consider when you have a man in your life who needs your support:
- Try to find out where laziness is coming from when he appears to not “MAN UP.” Could it possibly be that you spoiled him to the point that he feels he does not have to be the man? Perhaps you have taken his role and there is nothing for him to do. If you are always wearing his “Man Suit” like the man, he will not act in his rightful place.
- Never embarrass him in front of the kids or talk down to him in front of the kids.
- Speak to the king inside of him. This is vital! Instead of saying “MAN UP”, ask him why he does not do this and that to the degree that you desire.
- Ensure your goals are not an overkill and/or of a perfection mind frame.
- If you are already married, by all means, bring him to a marriage coach—someone who believes in relationships and can teach connection skills, enhance the romance in your lives and instill further honor within your relationship.
These five points could help strengthen your man. Many men have not seen good examples of men due to the absence of their own fathers. This is not an excuse but it speaks volumes of truths to why many men fail daily.
Sisters Be Encouraged
Sisters, do not forget you have the power to birth! Men need you to birth good within them. Speaking to his weakness will never work. Speak to his greatness on a daily basis. Jezebel used her powers to make her man worse, not better. How many women have this Jezebel mind and do not realize it?
I challenge every woman today to take the “MAN UP” phrase out of your mouth and encourage your man to the next level. Instead of saying “MAN UP,” whisper, “Honey, let’s go up!” For relationships to go up, both men and women must go up. Aim high!
Your king awaits you…
T. Charles Brantley, Ph.D is a Christian counselor, relationship expert, and author of 22 nationally published books. For more information, follow Dr. Brantley at Facebook.com/Strong.Marriages and visit DrTCBrantley.com.